Veni Vidi Vici

Culture Shock?

I’ve been to the Philippines twice; 1998 at the age of 5, and 2002 at the age of 9. The plan was to head back to the Philippines for a third time in June 2012, for my grandparents’ 60th Diamond Wedding Anniversary. But, of course life never plays out the way you want it to. I ended up going to the Philippines, for a third time at the age of 19, but for my grandmother’s funeral instead of her wedding anniversary. Although that’s a whole complete different topic that’s too hard to talk about at the moment, the experience I went through in the Philippines this time around was more meaningful, memorable, important and life changing. Ten years ago, the things and places I saw in the Philippines were memories I couldn’t really appreciate since i was so young. And the farthest memory I have from my visit 14 years ago was when I got so sick and my family thought I caught a deadly virus. Yes my memories from ‘98 and ‘02 are very vague, but I do remember that each time I left the Philippines, all I ever longed for was to go back.

1. Katulong; meaning, “the help.” Every household has maids. Every baby has a ya-ya. Almost everyone has a driver. Ha, imagine that in a third world country, huh? It’s ridiculous how easily a visitor is treated like a king/queen in the Philippines. In America, I do everything myself- cook my own food, wash my own dishes, fold my own laundry and drive myself around. But in the Philippines, everything is handed to you on a silver platter. I’ve seen people who ask their katulong to get water for them, even when the pitcher is right in front of them. Some don’t even throw away their own trash, and just wait for their helpers to pick up after them.
2. Labor. People in the Philippines will do anything for money. I went to a gas station, and was nearly shocked that a service man pumped our gas for us. Even through traffic, you’re more than likely to see a filipino male/female, with chinelas (one size too small,) selling water or peanuts. I even saw a little girl, around the age of 4 or 5, selling cigarettes. On top of that, my grandma’s 5-day viewing was catered; and one of the employees was a 9 year old girl. If I counted the amount of times I said “…if this were America..” I’d be rich by now. 
3. Traffic. Did you know in the Philippines, there’s such thing as “color coding” (or something like that,) where certain cars with license plates ending in a specific number can’t drive between 3pm-7pm? And even with ‘color coding,’ the traffic is insane. Lanes are pointless because cars don’t drive in ‘em anyways. It’s common to see Jeepney’s with passengers hanging out the back, as if they wanted to ghost ride the whip. Oh, not to mention, it’s okay to stop anywhere while driving and most people don’t use their headlights at night. And in the Philippines, pedestrian’s don’t have the right of way at all. More than likely, if you get ran over at night, the driver will just assume you were a cat and keep driving. 
4. Weather. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Philippines- the people, the food, the vibe… and I swear on my life that I would move to the Philippines in an instant if it weren’t for the humid weather. Argh, the weather… I was not able to handle it. Something about the weather attracted multiple different bugs, and I swear, they loved American skin.
5. Food. The Philippines got it good! Everything is so delicious. However, the only thing they lack is a good steakhouse. Steaks in the Philippines look like pork-chops from the U.S. Portions are incredibly different too, for example: a large order of pho would be considered a small in America. But despite that, the food is incredible- you haven’t had good sisig, or a fresh/sweet mango until you’ve had it in the Philippines. And I bet your bottom dollar that if you’re not from the Philippines, you WILL get some type of sickness or stomach ache. Trust me. (It’s not only in the food, but in the water too.) 
6. Bathrooms. For some reason, Filipinos don’t believe in toilet seat covers, and sometimes even tissue in the stalls. 
7. Double-dead. Some Filipinos like to take, sell and eat the meat from an animal that already died from a disease. That.is.not.okay. And some street vendors sell siopao made out of cat. WhyyYyYYYyy.

I bet some native fobs are reading what I’m saying and thinking I should stfu since I’m from America- but fuck, I can’t even stress how much I fell in love with the Philippines (MINUS THE HEAT.) There’s always something to do, something always to see. The Philippines is not for everyone though- especially people who get sick a lot, or complain a lot. Despite the weird food dishes, corruption and lack of sanitary knowledge… I love the Philippines.. and I would take every chance i could get to go back. I’ve never fully lived there, but apart of me will always consider it some type of home. Maybe eventually, one day, it will become home.

I have some good ass people in my life.

Friends who remain my friend even though their “ex”bff hated my guts (for no reason) and found ways to support me even down to the last minute. Friends who I stopped speaking to for almost a year, and yet when I found myself needing them the most, they were there for me with no questions asked. Friends who I barely keep in contact with finding, ways to console with me. Friends who I DO keep in touch with, that have pretty much held my hand through everything. Friends who just simply showed they care with one meaningful line on instagram, call, or text.

I know this should be the least of my worries, but I was told at times like this you really find out who your true friends are. That may be so, and it may be a cliche… but I can’t even stress enough how thankful I am to have such supportive people in my life- no matter how many months or distances that keep us apart.

I am very lucky. Thank you guys. (You know who you are.) I love you.

Lolo: It all started our junior year of high school….

*class roll call*

teacher: Adelaida Clavaria?

Frank (class clown): HAHA ADELAIDA WHAT? Huh, Adelaida WHAT?

Adelaida (humble shy girl): Why don’t you mind your own business?!?!

Lolo: I was always attracted to her eyes. To me, looking at the eyes tells a lot about that person. For several days after class, I would wait for her outside of our classroom, and try to give her a candy bar… she would decline. The next day, I tried getting her another candy bar… she ignored me. The day after that, I gave her a sandwich… and she took it. We dated for 6 years after that, and finally got married.

The rest is history.

Wishing to be able to pour everything out, but knowing now’s not the perfect time.

A good day consists of,

seeing one of my best friends in the parking lot, getting princess parking at school, confidently turning in a 12 page paper, receiving a passing grade on a test, smiling at strangers (in a non-creepy way, haha) spending $28 on ingredients for a 3 course meal, seeing my Lola smile, seeing some family members, randomly getting $200 from my baller auntie&uncle, catching up with middle school friends, receiving moral support from friends you don’t speak to everyday, throwing down in the kitchen in an hr, jumping into bed with my fluffy pink cotton-candy comforter, catching up on late-night episodes of Friends and finally getting some shuteye after not getting some the night before.

Life has been such a whirlwind lately. Up until today, I couldn’t even remember having a full day where I didn’t feel so emotionally drained and down in the dumps. Life really is all about the little things. Thank you, homieG, for the small break and a great day filled with small and big blessings… but I’m ready for whatever you have planned for me next.

xo

Sunday

Counting down the days until we face a circumstance that could only make or break us apart. I’m staying as strong and positive as I can possibly be.. but at the same time, I’m willing to let go so she can be set free. I’m ready for anything. But does me being ready mean I’m willing to accept? No, of course not. I won’t accept it for awhile. (Eventually with time, He will guide us and heal us from the pain..) ..but at the end of the day, we’re only human and our feelings of anger, sadness, betrayal, loss, and grief are inevitable.

We can’t be selfish anymore.

“Are you doing this for her, or for yourself?”